Humbled and Grateful
Yesterday Patxi and I failed each other.
He, by being in the past--wanting to be back at home with Leonidas, wanting to be back to just being him and I in the herd, back to simpler times where there weren't so many changes, back to when his hocks didn't hurt even though they've been treated now and should feel better. He was living in old muscle memory and in what was.
Me, by being in the future--wanting to see the fruits of all my labors with my riding changes and the training I put into Patxi, wanting to progress in our understanding of Working Equitation so we can do better this year, wanting, wanting, wanting.
Neither of us was in the present moment which, in itself was perfect. We were healthy, the sun was shining, friends were around, and other horses, too. The clinic was laid-back and we could have just enjoyed being together without any expectations. Instead, he was hard and I demanded softness. I was trying and he was resisting. We were not in sync.
Oh well. Today was a new day, and I'm happy to say that I have apologized to Patxi (and he to me) and we had a glorious time ponying Leonidas, doing lateral work, playing ring around the rosie, and just sitting the three of us and yawning, taking in the glory of a late winter/early spring day.
Post-ponying, I sat on a cone, surrounded by the two boys, one young, one old, both in a loving state of mind. Their circle of love washed over me and I cried for quite a while. Patxi continued to put his muzzle on my face and breathe his loving breaths onto me, while Leonida thought about how nice his new life was. This just made me cry more. The thought that he might not have been mine right now. And the forgiveness Patxi was offering me.
What a day. I am grateful for the humbling moments of yesterday and the reviving session of today to remind me to stay in the present, be open to what is, and to compassionately meet the horse where he is before even considering asking him anything.
Hugs, my friends...and Love.